How to confess to a fetish?
In spite of the increasing openness of society to sexuality and differences between people in the intimate zone, the word “fetish” is still associated pejoratively by many. As a result, people with certain and often harmless paraphilias are ashamed to confess to them, keep their needs suppressed and live in dissatisfaction. It is widely known, that conversations about sex, including individual preferences, are the foundation of a successful relationship! This applies not only to conversations in bed, but also out of it. The feeling of being totally free has a liberating and invigorating effect on other areas of the relationship. The most difficult thing to do is just to admit to having a little sexual quirk. Are you too, wondering how to confess to a fetish? Read this article right now!
Is there anything to be ashamed of?
This is a question everyone should ask themselves before thinking about how to admit to a fetish. It all depends on its nature. If it is a paraphilia, involving the other partner’s actual suffering, or if it is prohibited by law – then it is worth thinking foremost about treatment.
However, when these are such fetishes as voyeurism, podophilia, or even BDSM, for example, and none of them involve harming the other party and both partners, aware of their choices, enter into such games and arrangements voluntarily – what’s wrong with that? There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! It’s hard to set boundaries in sex, and those who try to stick to some long–established dogma are often the greatest frustrated people.
Before the conversation – realise that there is nothing wrong
Therefore, before you start such a conversation, you need to realise that your fetish is not a bad thing. People’s sexual needs are diverse, and everyone – to a greater or lesser degree – is a fetishist. Some people may be more fixated on large breasts. Others are more attracted to feet or hair. Ladies, on the other hand, often point out that it is not so much a large penis that excites them, but rather neat hands.
Why is it so important to realise that your paraphilia is natural? Because it gives you a greater sense of freedom, also in conversation. And how to admit to a fetish when you yourself feel like a convict with your predilections? It’s difficult, even when you’re just trying to imagine it. But when you accept your nature – that, for example, you like to be submissive or dominant in a relationship, or you’re turned on by stilettos and not necessarily on her feet – you become proud of who you are. You become free. And it’s much easier for a man like that to talk about what arouses him.
Give yourself time to get to know each other
Reconciling with yourself and your nature is the first step. The second is getting to know the other side. You don’t have to rush into announcing that you’re a fetishist. Certainly, the first date will not be the best time to announce something like this to the other party. Unless you’ve arranged it through one of the best fetish portals. Then such information is more than welcome.
Let’s assume, however, that this is someone you have met in other circumstances, and you have been dating for some time. When is the best time for this? Perhaps when you start having intercourse, or simply – when you talk more openly about your sexual preferences. And how do you talk about sex, especially when the subject of fetishes comes up in the background?
Talking seriously but without tension
It’s always worth preparing to talk about sex. It’s a moment when you both open up to each other. That’s why it’s important to approach it seriously, with respect for the other party, but without being too pompous. Definitely the most important thing is to show the other party an understanding of their needs, even more so if you’ve been thinking about how to admit to a fetish yourself. Taking your partner’s words seriously will help build an atmosphere of understanding and trust. It’s best to start such a conversation by asking what excites him or her. Then it will be easier to share what you are into.
Why is it worth talking to your other half about your fetishes? Hiding your needs will only make you more frustrated over time. You might have orgasms, but in the end they just don’t have the same taste. Besides – you should be open with your life partner. It is definitely better to tell him or her that you have unusual predilections and think together about how to indulge yourself, rather than engage in a common lie, which often ruins plans for life. Once you know how to admit to a fetish – there’s nothing left to do but take things into your own hands. Who knows? Perhaps you share some common erotic fantasies between men and women. If so – have a look at our website for more information about them!